The wind is whipping out there. The sky is looking ominous. We've had thunder most of the day.
So, any time it would actually like to do something productive, like, I don't know, rain, would be great! I mean, seriously, I went out there to check and see if I had any cucumbers ready to harvest and saw this haze in the air all around me. Normally, I would've thought it was humidity, but it was different, mostly because it was brown. I honestly think it's dust and dirt kicked up by the wind because we are so very, very dry right now what with not having had rain in three weeks.
Also, it would be nice to not have to stand in the blistering heat to water my garden. (I have got to get a sprinkler.)
Now, admittedly, as I walked outside, instead of immediately going to the side yard, I stopped at the end of the carport because the strange brown haze had grabbed my attention. I stood there pondering it for a moment, and then saw a lady carrying her small dog and walking with an intent purpose down the street, probably to get indoors before the heavens opened up. That's when I became aware of the dagger in my hand.
As much as that sounds like the opening to a murder mystery or my life as a serial killer, there is a perfectly innocent explanation.
See, I have this thing about blades. I love them. A lot. I have near orgasms at the sight of a finely crafted sword or knife. But, I also believe blades are meant to be used. I don't go for those decorative pieces of crap that just sit there and pretend to be something they are not. (A lot like trophy wives.) This mean, my dagger gets used. I use it for a number of things, but lately it is the blade that cuts ripe veggies off the plant. (You never just yank them off as it could damage the plant. Besides, it only seems polite that if you're going to rob the plant of its fruit the least you can do is cut it cleanly instead of trying to tear it off like a hangnail.)
Of course, it was at that realization that I had my dagger in my hand, not in its sheath, that I quite possibly looked like a lunatic. So, I quickly hid the knife behind my leg and ran off to the garden. I hoped that she actually passed in front of my house and saw me in the side yard using the blade to move aside the prickly leaves and vines of the cucumbers to see if any of the vegetables were ready to harvest. I hoped that she saw that so she didn't think I was actually behind my house cutting up a body and feeding it to the raccoons. Of course, I didn't dare look up to see if she was passing by because then it just makes it weird, like I'm trying to hide something...
So, I checked my cukes (none were ready yet) and nonchalantly went inside, careful to hide the dagger behind me.
Although, I'm not sure why I care what people think. It's not like I was covered in blood with an insane gleam in my eye. I was just kind of staring vacantly at the brown haze in the air...looking a little...
Crap.
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And, yet, I am still not the strangest one in this neighborhood.
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