Fall needs to hurry the hell up and get here!

So, I've been absent for a bit.  This would be because both my phone and my internet became terminally ill on the same day, and I have been fighting to get both up and running for two weeks.


It is a complicated divorce matter.


I will not discuss that here.

What I will discuss is my few veggies managing to grow this summer are now coming pre-cooked.


The cucumbers that are on the vine are not ready to pick but they are turning assorted shades of roasted.  Other than my cucumber, I've only had my jalapeno produce, and I'm not so sure about that one these days.  The pumpkin has all but died.  The herbs are hanging on.  The tomatoes are still not producing.  I'm not entirely sure I'm just watering weeds.  The heat, this unbelievable heat, is worse than last year, and I think I might have seen what bounty I can from my garden.

The beans are gone, although I am sure that was survival of the fittest. (Don't screw with cucumbers.)  My herbs are only hanging on because I water regularly.  (I don't even water my yard.  It's all overgrown weeds and dead grass, but I am sorry I won't waste the water on grass that lets the weeds win.)  My tomatoes are growing like mad but aren't fruiting.  Everything else has pretty much given up.


What do you expect from 120 degree heat?


I'm sure Nevada is laughing its ass off at us right now, but truthfully, as humid and miserable as it can get here, it's not normal that it's so bad that even the plants can't seem to make it through. 

The good thing is last week we got a lot of rain.  A lot of rain.  Rain we weren't even supposed to get.  It was like Mama Nature woke up and realized she forgot to turn on the sprinklers.  It also cooled off for a couple of days.  It was 90 degrees yesterday, and it was bliss!

I know you think I'm crazy for saying that, but trust me, the heat has been so bad that yesterday with its low humidity was actually a very pleasant day in comparison.  That is disturbing, my friends.  Disturbing.

Well, the garden limps along.  A friend heard a report that we are expected to have a late tomato season this year and were advised to not give up on them.  I will let them continue on then.  As for the rest, well, it might be time to cull the herd.  My friend, April, and I decided we're going to put some fall crops in the ground and see what we get.  Things like chard, lettuces, and the like that do better in the last half of the year.  I'm also thinking of building a low cover and seeing if I can't pull off cabbages over the winter months seeing as how it usually isn't too horrible here.  (Watch.  I just cursed us.  We're going to get an ice age.)  I'm still planning on raising honey bees, so y'all might start hearing more about that in the coming months.

I'm saying this because I had a brief moment of wondering what I was going to do during the winter with a garden blog.  Well, I'm moving some of it indoors where it will experience such dangers as cats, possibly a dog, and my inability to remember to water.

Never fear, the adventures shall continue.




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April and I have also decided we are going to plant right after the last frost next year.  Apparently, the normal planting time for Arkansas has shifted as all the people I know who planted early got full crops.  Whether it's a cyclical thing or outright climate change, it's damn annoying.  I wonder if it's making the writers of the "The Old Farmer's Almanac" cry.

At least I'll get a lot of pickles this year

I went today to get some neem for my tomatoes as something is eating the blossoms before they can fruit.  I haven't found anything else wrong with the plants.  I mean they are about three feet tall.  There is no reason they shouldn't be bearing fruit by now.  Well, the nursery was out of neem, but the nice gentleman who helped me suggested this other stuff.  It appears to be a hormone to help the blossoms.  Unfortunately, it wasn't until I got it home that I realized that it was also a pesticide.  Now, see, I've been avoiding such things, but since I already bought it, I figured I'd try it to see if it works.  If not, there is a homemade organic spray I'm going to make and try.

I'll try to get a good pic of the tomatoes later, but here is my garden in general.

Still not dead!

You can see the tomatoes way in the back.  But, what I would like you to take notice of is the huge section of green on the right hand side near the house.

That would be the cucumbers.  Inside that jungle of leaves is part of the row of bush beans.  I mentioned in my last post that I have tried very hard to convince the cucumbers they want to grow the other direction, but they are definitely not listening.  So, yeah, I don't see a lot of beans this year.

However, I have gotten this:

Ta-da!

My first beautiful, lovely, delicious cucumber!  I was checking some of the baby cukes I've seen, and was shocked to find this guy hiding under the leaves.  I immediately wanted to slice it up and eat it with a dash of salt, but my need to show it off to my friends is holding me back.  (Hey, we are all attention whores in our own way.)

Apparently, the cucumbers are enjoying this godawful heat.  I have three more that are close to ready.  Funnily enough, one of them is round and about the size of a baseball and another looks like a gourd.  I'm not sure what would cause a cucumber to distort into another shape, but I'm hoping the oddness continues.  I want to put them out in a big bowl on the dining table when I have friends over as proof that my innate weirdness is even contagious to my plants.  There's something inherently satisfying to know that one's own weirdness actually warps the world around her.

I knew there was a reason I was put on this earth.




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A lady at the nursery suggested that it could be the fact that it's over 75 degrees at night that could be doing a number on my tomato blossoms and could be why my pumpkin isn't fruiting since they just aren't getting a chance to cool down.  I keep telling everyone the sun is evil, but do they listen?  Noooooooo...